Alone In The Superunknown

Summer of beer, part 1

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 03:20:03 GMT

Every summer, when I come out to the cottage for a protracted stay, I always make apoint of snagging a few specialty beers to sample. This year's crop has some winners, and some losers....

INNIS & GUNN Canadian Cask Scottish Oak Aged Beer: a deep reddish ale, whose claim to fame is the beer has been aged in oak casks. A really fruity nose, nice smooth taste with a hint of smokiness, and a sweet finish. I like this a LOT, but it's $10 a bottle. Wonder what it would be like aged.....

WYCHWOOD Black Wych Stout: my go-to beer. A nice stout, not too heavy, very drinkable, with a smooth taste. The bottle says a "biscuity" taste, but I prefer to think of it as a traditional stout burn. Very nice.

THWAITES Lancaster Bomber: a nice ale, smooth, slightly smoky, very smooth, with a hint of bitter finish. I could see myself drinking a LOT of this.

MILL ST. BREWERY Coffee Porter: a traditional porter, flavoured with dark roasted coffee. It definitely tastes of coffee... overpoweringly so. Not exactly to my taste, but good once in a while.

SAMUEL SMITH Imperial Stout: THIS is a strong beer. VERY strong stout, with a very heavy, dinstinctive taste. A good chewing beer, as I call them. at $11 a bottle, I would love to grab a few opf these, and lay them up somewhere to see if they age.

Still to come: Dead Guy Ale, and an Irish red.

A trip down memory lane

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 17:14:18 GMT

I've been slowly emptying everything out of my old bedroom in Winnipeg. My parents have redone the entire upstairs, except for my room, and its time has come in the fall. (Funny side note... I was talking to my dad the other day, and he said, "When we redo your room, we're going to make it into a den, and put the spare bedroom downstairs." "Oh," I said, "I finally get to have my bedroom downstairs!" "No, no, no," my dad corrected," I said there would be *A* bedroom downstairs, not *YOUR* bedroom..." Message received.) Anyhow, as I finally get around to strip-mining all the assroted junk I have stashed in the room, I have come across some things I had forgotten....
- a book of poetry to me, from an old ex, along with my folder of MY old poetry and stories, and 6 volumes of another friends poetical ramblings (and using the word "ramblings" is being polite...). In retrospect... this stuff has NOT aged well. Especially a lot of my stuff (although I've only skimmed the early stuff so far... maybe the later stuff stands up better). I can't believe I used to write this tripe, much less other people actually LIKED it.
- I found a book I had been looking for for a while.... the last year I was in Moose Lake, I had this old journal, that I got everyone and anyone to sign before I left.... kinda like a yearbook without the pictures. It was really nice, reading back over some of the comments that people put in there.... it lightened my day, and made me forget about all the shit I had to put up with this year. However, it also brought me down, seeing how many of those names were no longer with us.

A Reminder

Fri, 15 May 2009 01:23:34 GMT

If I get old, I will not give in
But if I do, remind me of this.
Remind me that, once I was free,
Once I was cool, once I was me.

And if I sat down, and crossed my arms,
Hold me into, this song.

Knock me out, smash out my brains,
If I take a chair, start to talk shit.....

If I get old, remind me of this:
That night we kissed, and I really meant it.

Whatever happens, if were still speaking.
Pick up the phone, play me this song.

IT'S DONE!!!!

Sat, 09 May 2009 18:36:47 GMT

After YEARS, and I do mean YEARS of work.... I have finally finished ripping my entire CD collection to iTunes.

"Pffft...how hard can that be?" you may ask scoffingly.

My iTunes library is currently sitting at 27,452 songs.

153.29 GIGS of music.

Keep in mind.... that's just my CD COLLECTION.

I still have approximately... oh.... 700? 800? more VINYL ALBUMS to rip, and maybe 100 CASSETTES.\

And I haven't even started thinking about hom I'm going to rip the 70-80 78's I have laying around....

Bad things come in threes

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 00:16:04 GMT

There used to be a girl in grade 1 the year I left Moose Lake... she used to come in every morning and give me a hug, and call me "Uncle". She would get mad at me when I called her "Winter". She was a beautiful little girl.

She hung herself last night.

That's two.... who's next?

MAS*H : Goodbye, Farewell and Amen

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 01:07:39 GMT

Why am I watching this? I am going to bawl like a child in about 10 minutes when the goodbyes start. This is SO not the day to be watching thins.

I guess that's why they call it the blues

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 15:14:25 GMT

I was going to post a big screed about Valentine's Day yesterday.

Then I found out a girl I taught was found frozen to death yesterday. She used to go to school in Rorketon, then tranferred to Dauphin a few years ago. I talk to her all the time online. She was the sweetest little girl, but had a shitty hand in life. She went to a party, got drunk, and her "friends" left her at a closed gas station, drunk. She curled up between the propane tanks to sleep. She was 15. And now, she's gone.

"Angel", by Sarah McLachlan

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

It's been long time since I rock 'n rolled...

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 02:11:54 GMT

So... long time no update. Can't even remember the last time.

Life continues to unroll. School this year has been... an adventure. I had a REAL good September... all the classes were going well, students weren't making me crazy.

Then the wheels started to fall off.

Some of the highlights...... in a high school population of about 80, we have TEN PREGNANCIES, all in grade NINE AND TEN..... I have about a 20-25% PASS rate in my grade 9 and 10 classes..... my grade 10's are a suck on my soul.....2 more kids almost died in a rollover out here (third accident in about a year)..... oh, and my volleyball team tried to fire me.

Yes, you heard that right. FIRE ME. We have some fairly serious personality and team issues, most of which come from trying to make one team out of two schools. Long story short, I was told my team no longer desired my services as coach. I was already not having fun, and saw this coming a mile away (and had been trying to get out from under before the bomb hit), so I stepped down. Then, it comes out there's only a couple players who wanted rid of me (but they happen to be our best players), but they did a good job of strong-arming the rest of the team to their point of view, and none of my players would speak up for me (because none of them wanted to "rock the boat"). Of course, said plan blew up, and I was begged to return. I wasn't coming back as coach. The only way we could keep the team afloat was if I agreed to stay on in some capacity. I agreed, after making it known I was TOTALLY against the idea. But the damage is done. I think we're screwed.

That, and I'm fighting the damn flu. Ugh.

All hail the Badger King!

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 17:48:30 GMT

Late last year, I finally got a new shed. A nice little shed, with plain, unpainted doors. I don't like painting, so in true Tom Sawyer fashion, I went to the most talented artist in the school, and told her she could paint whatever she wanted on my doors, and I would pay her. Well, all that freedom freaked her out ("What if you don't like it?"), so she had me come up with some ideas for her to sketch. As a throwaway suggestion (here's where the story gets long), I said, paint me as the Badger King.

Earlier that year, she was in my Desktop Publishing class. For whatever reason, one day I ended up on badgerbadgerbadger.com and was driving the class nuts by singing along to it as I let it run ALL CLASS. She got especially incensed (she's easy to push over the edge), and the next day, I had Photoshopped a picture of me being overrun by Badgers, with some comment about me being the Badger King.

Anyway, she drew out a sketch with..... well, really, just look at the finished product. You'll understand. 8)

[meme] Stolen from phrawz and fishy

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 13:34:18 GMT

List three things you don't think anyone else in the world has done. If someone responds that they have done it, you must relist another accomplishment.

1. Shook hands with B.B. King.
2. Received a university bursary from the Manitoba 5-Pin Bowling Association.
3. Broken my little toe.
3b. (as per phrawzty) Gotten the autograph of.... DARTH VADER! (beat that, bitchez!)

PS: SCHOOL'S OUT!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNERD!!!!!!!!

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 22:07:14 GMT

Cleaning Out My Closets

Sat, 24 May 2008 17:25:43 GMT

I keep starting and erasing and restarting this entry. Like, literally, I've erased this line about 6 times. I just spent the last hour typing out a huge paragraph, and I just erased it all. I don't even know what to say anymore. I just feel.... disconnected from everyone. Everything I say or do comes out as negative. Every time I try to do something positive, or at least more OVERTLY positive, everyone says "What are you up to?" I lost a good friend a few weeks ago.... the first person I consider a contemporary to go. He was 44, and dropped dead of a massive coronary, out of the blue. He was a great, great man, who I loved getting to talk to at Frontier Games or sports events where he was watching his son, and now he's gone. And that hurt.... it messed me up worse than I've been messed up for a while. Plus, there's a few kids who I've become quite attached to, who I just watch going down the drain, and no matter what me or anyone else does to try and help, they just won't let themselves be helped until they hit rock bottom. The drug and alcohol abuse out here is ridiculous... or maybe I've just led too sheletered a life. And then there's the rest.... who do.... nothing. Most of the kids have already packed up shop with three weeks left of school.My grade 9 ELA class is going to have about 27% PASS rate. I knock myself out, putting in 12 hour days, to try and get these kids to show what they can do, and they basically spit in our face. Then they're families come in, and say we're not doing our jobs because their kid is failing, while refusing to take any responsibility for their lousy attitude. Then the division wants to know why I have an attendance rate of only 65%, and why I've had almost 15 kids drop out over the course of the term, like I have any control over that. It's all "higher test scores", without considering the fact that just because the kid is here, doesn't mean they're doing anything. Most of them consider this building prison until they hit 18. Oh, and by the way... every teacher I know in other schools or divisions has the same problem. I just feel so..... worthless.

And I know what everyone will say... why don't I change schools? Because to me, that's giving up. It's giving these kids the message that when the going gets tough, everyone gives up on them. And I won't be that person. I won't.

Inked

Mon, 12 May 2008 04:01:14 GMT

Inked!

Sat, 10 May 2008 21:50:09 GMT

I finally bit the bullet, and got inked today. Pictures as soon as the bandages come off. 8)

Grand Theft Meme

Wed, 07 May 2008 00:08:19 GMT

Google your name with the word(s) after it and take the first response you find.

1) Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
Kevin needs your money!

2) Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
Kevin looks like he's going to snap his bat in half after this strikeout.

3) Type in "[your name] likes" in Google search:
Kevin likes to be naked.

4) Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
Get to play the Kia Kevin Says stage.

5) Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
Kevin wants Britney fat and pregnant.

6) Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
Kevin does dumb shit.

7) Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
Kevin hates needles.

8) Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search:
MySpace Music profile for Kevin Goes 2 College with tour dates, songs, videos, pictures, blogs, band information, downloads and more.

9)Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:
Kevin loves the pump!

10) Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:
Kevin has sex!

I sense a disturbing trend.....

8l

Sun, 04 May 2008 15:51:15 GMT

It's May 4th.

It's snowing.

SNOWING.

There is something seriously rotten in Denmark.

More ruminations later.

Screw the melodrama

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 05:22:02 GMT

Yeah, I'm not dead yet. Things are better... not great, but better. Finally getting used to my CPAP machine, except it leaves my mouth so dry by morning, I'm having trouble with my teeth now. Sigh. See the dietician Tuesday... should be the end of fun for a while.

Dead Man Walking

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 04:25:27 GMT

Yeah.
So.
I have moderate obstructive sleep apnea. I need to buy a $2000 machine to sleep. I need to start seeing a dietitian and let someone else organize my life, because as the doctor said today, everything I've been doing is wrong. All the fruits and veggies I've been trying to eat more... are the wrong ones. All the low-fat food I've been eating, which is like eating tasteless plastic.... is the wrong stuff. I need to lose 60% of my excess bodyweight ASAP.

And I face the possibility of having my license revoked, because moderate sleep apnea means automatic retesting and evaluation to determine if I'm a danger while driving.

And if I don't.... I'm dead.

I've been battling this for 36 years. I've tried, and I keep fucking up. I"m back to being 4 years old, with someone having to run my life for me. And if I lose my license... then my life is basically over.

So, this is likely the last post you'll ever see..... because I just don't see the fucking point of anything anymore.

Dead man walking... I believe I'm fixin' to die.

We are not the champions

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 02:28:10 GMT

Volleyball provincials were this weekend. Only the second time ever our girls team has qualified, and the first time both teams qualified in the same year. Outside of the games, this weekend was a comedy of errors, and made me realize why I should never be allowed to own a firearm. On the courts... well, we played well enough to get out of the round robin and into the championship bracket. Won our first game, got SCholled by the number 1 seed next game, then on Friday, started the day getting schooled by the number 3 seed (even though we were WAAAAAY down both games, we battled back to take the lead in both games, but couldn't hold them), then had to win our last game Friday to qualify. Came in today, need a win in our first match to qualify for a chance to play for either gold or bronze.... and got FLATTENED first game, by a team that we should have beat. Everything that could go wrong, did, and even though we made the second game intresteting, we were done. It didn't help that I later found out a couple of my team broke curfew, and were more concerned about getting out of there early enough to get to another function than playing volleyball. Sadly, the boys didn't fare much better... same position as us, they lost in a hard, HARD fought 3rd game, after losing their libero to a sprained ankle on Thursday, and a starting middle a few eeks early (if you know voleyball, losing a libero in a middle of a tourney is a BAD thing, and losing a middle is worse, especially when they had no one to fill in... they had to move starting power to middle, and stick a grade 9 in starting power at Provincials... that's Ryan Dinwiddie starting the Grey Cup right there). So, a long, frustrating season is over, leaving me qustioning my commitment to coaching, questioning the commitment of my remaining players, and depressed at the image of my two graduating players, who have played for 4 years, done everything asked of them, and who deserved WAY better than this team, bawling their eyes out after we got eliminated. Sigh.

We are the champions!

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:30:41 GMT

So, after three months of stress, tears, harsh words and hard work.... WE WON THE ZONE 8 VOLLEYBALL CHAMPIONSHIP! We get to go to Provincials!

The best part? Our boys team won too.... ROCKETS REPRESENT.

Give thanks

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 01:25:16 GMT

Things have been going okay. I still struggle with classes full of students who are 5 or more years behind the grade they are in, but it's getting better. My oldest friend actually stopped by and visited today... it's the first time ANY of my city friends have ever come out and visited me since I left Winnipeg. My volleyball team, while struggling way more than they should, is finally starting to put some skills together. And I love the countryside in the fall.

Be joyful, everyone.

To Tasslehoff

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 00:49:30 GMT

To Tasslehoff, my cat of 20 years. He had to be put down today.

Conversations with my mother, Part 2

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 18:47:49 GMT

Me: Did God create the sloar system?
Mom: Yes.
Me: And did god create the stars in the sky?
Mom: Yes.
Me: And did God create all those planets that circle those stars in the sky?
Mom: Yes.
Me: And you mean to tell me, on all those MILLIONS of planets, around those MILLIONS of stars, God didn't create another sentient race, even as a back-up plan?
Mom: No.
Me: The why did he waste all that time and energy creating the stars and planets? For show?
Mom: God doesn't waste time or energy. God isn't concerned with time, nor energy.
(...the conversation continues)
Me: So you deny all the evidence of man evolving from early man? Or of dinosaurs? Dinosaurs weren't in the Bible.
Mom: Maybe they just left them out.
Me: Well, maybe they also left out how on some of those planets out on the stars, there's another sentient race or two!

Conversations with my mother, part 1

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 06:08:34 GMT

Me: Why didn't Noah save the unicorns, then?

Mother: Well, maybe Noah left the unicorns behind because they were GAY!

... sun, surf and sand ...

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 05:22:10 GMT

Summer holidays.... god bless 'em!

* Went to SIlver HEights' 50th Reunion / Closing Ceremonies on July 6-8. Was a good time, other than me being sick as a dog. I dunno what I had, but it laid me out well enough to prevent me from going to the big reunion dinner/dance (where I would have seen more people... sigh). However, I made the most of the receptions on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Got to see some old classmates (and their DELIGHTFUL children, which made me feel kinda jealous, and sad), and got to see the teachers who really inspired me to do what I'm doing. After talking to them for a bit, I feel.... reinspired.

* Since then, I've been hanging out at the cabin. God, I love this place. I sit, I read. I do work when required. Beautiful. My high school friend Ainley has a cottage at the other end of the development, so I go and hang out down there with her and her kidlets. Firends come and visit. Tis quite the life.

* Got tickets to see CLUTCH!!!! (YES!!!!!) and Queens of the Stone Age in August. I could go see Thornley this weekend, but i'm too frigging comfortable out here.

Life is good.